There is a Far Side cartoon titled Nerds In Hell, where there are a few devils pictured, some flames, sweating folks, and one little guy in glasses who says to a sweaty guy in chains: “Hot enough for ya?”.
Well, real-life Hell-Nerds exist, and they are the ones who, backstage, or sometime just before a concert, ask you: “Are ya ready?” or worse yet: “Are ya nervous?”
Then there is the retrospective Hell-Nerd, who, after a performance, asks: “So, are ya happy?”. I mean, come on people.
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Saurian Saint 
Tell them that of course you’re ready, after all Wagner has always been your favourite composer. (This is for a program of pure Bach, obviously you will have to alter the composer to the most inappropriate for each show but you could have a lot of fun. How may obscure and puzzlingly named composers are there out there?)
For important performances, to such people I fix a stare, without hostility or curiosity, with the intensity needed to sustain myself throughout the program, and finally say “Please…” At the end when it doesn’t matter, the stock response “Thanks for your help” makes them disappear!